Monthly Archives: November 2005

Security Levels Increase Abroad

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Surrender” and “Collaborate.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.
It’s not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “shout loudly and excitedly” to “elaborate military posturing”. Two more levels remain, “ineffective combat operations” and “change sides”.
The Germans also increased their alert state from “disdainful arrogance” to “dress in uniform and sing marching songs”. They also have two higher levels: “invade a neighbour” and “lose”.
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they worry about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Hat tip: The Corner

I normally hate those circulating e-mail jokey things……

Most of them don’t even make me crack a smile. This one made me laugh out loud.
Subject: Teaching math
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1960:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
Teaching Math In 1980:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990:
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question:
How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers)
Teaching Math In 2005:
Un hachero vende una carretada demaderapara $100. El costo de la producción es $80…..

Speechless

Not even sure where to begin. But if I were able to muster a few words about this news story, I am sure among them would be the phrase, “I’d like to party with these girls……”
Go, Panthers! [Update]: Check that – Bad, Panthers! They’ve fired them? Don’t they understand the impact on attendance this would have had? Idiots. And when was the last time they fired (or even disciplined) a player for either a bar fight or alleged sexual improprieties?
[Update]: As either Bob or Tom said on the radio this morning, the easiest way to avoid this problem in the future, ladies? Use the men’s room. For damn sure nobody in there would have complained.

If only………….

Bork on Alito:

Still, we do not know how the new chief justice and Justice-to-be Alito will rule on Roe and other liberal constitutional travesties of the past. Why, then, should conservatives support them? Because we can at least be sure that they will not start inventing yet new and previously unheard of constitutional rights. That would in itself be a vast improvement over the imperialistic Court majority’s drive to remake American culture and morality. That it will take at least one more justice of the Roberts-Scalia-Thomas-Alito stripe to return the Court to jurisprudential respectability is no reason not to support Judge Alito to the full. Let us rejoice in what we have gained.

Can you imagine if that “one more justice” were Bork? Imagine: Roberts-Scalia-Thomas-Alito-Bork.
The mind reels.