Category Archives: Uncategorized

Are all clowns idiots?

Or just the ones in the UA Fourth of July parade?
My girls are afraid of clowns. Why? I have no idea. It must be something you are either born with or not — I had a friend in high school who was deathly afraid of clowns; I just don’t get it. Anyway.
So my wife and I were on clown patrol. Sitting on the curb with the girls watching the parade, we had to be on guard for approaching clowns so that we could evacuate the girls to a safe distance if need be.
Well, sure enough, along comes a clown with one of those monkey puppets. We saw the clown way ahead of time, and pointed it out to the girls, and I took them back about 20 or thirty feet from the curb, where they stood clutching my legs.
And the clown, seeing the girls had retreated some distance away, seeing the girls clear up in the yard clutching my leg, LEAVES THE PARADE ROUTE to come see the girls!! So now the girls are hysterical, because there is a clown hunting them down. Luckily, my wife had stayed at the curb, and was able to stop the clown before she got too far. And the clown says, “but I thought they’d like the monkey.”
Yea, maybe they would. Except for the clown with her hand up its ass!!
A little commonsense. That’s all I’m asking for. Is that asking too much?

Why should we “respect the box”?

Every couple of months I like remind the folks who check in on this humble outpost why I call it “Respect the Box.” I stole it wholesale from the inestimable Professor Volokh. It comes from this post, which reads in full:

“Respect the Box”: I was just thinking back to a particular set of incidents (the details need not detain us), and it struck me how important it is both to think outside the box and to understand why the box is there and why 95% of the answers are within it. So the catchy slogan “think outside the box,” important as it is, needs to be complemented with an equally catchy antithesis. Hence, my proposal:
Respect the Box.

I liked the idea so much it took it as my own motto. It’s simply irresistible for a crusty old conservative like me. With Prof. Volokh’s permission, I also used it to name my website/blog.
Thanks again, Professor!

Oh, Good God in Heaven. Voinovich has finally lost it. Check out this audio clip of our Senator in the floor of the United States Senate crying — crying! — over the nomination of John Bolton. Apparently, Voinovich ran for a second term in order to protect his grandchildren from the horror that is John Bolton.
Did I actually vote for this guy? Did I actually campaign for this loon? I am going to chalk it up to youthful indiscretion.
Hat tip: RadioBlogger.
UPDATE: You can find the video here.

What is the deal with Ohio’s Senators?

First, Voinovich nearly derails John Bolton’s appointment to the United Nations. Now, DeWine is part of the cabal that reached a gutless and embarrassing agreement to avoid the filibuster showdown.
I am ashamed that I have not only voted for both, but have actually assisted both in their elections. I’ll vote for neither one next time around.
Update: This just occurred to me: I wonder, would the President have fared any worse in the Senate recently if John Glenn and Howard Metzenbaum were still serving, rather than the “Republicans” that replaced them? I doubt it.

Another great piece from Jonah Goldberg

I don’t know how to read the minds of Islamist fanatics, but it seems to me they have all the excuses in the world they’ll ever need to hate us. Osama bin Laden says the Crusades are reason enough. When he blew up that train in Spain, he said it was partly out of a desire to avenge the taking of Andalusia — i.e. Muslim Spain in the 15th century. At some point you need to start saying, “Who cares what makes these people angry?” As Mark Steyn put it beautifully during the whole “blame the Crusades” moment:

Shortly after Pearl Harbor, the Japanese took Tarawa in the Gilbert Islands and arrested 22 British watchkeepers. The following year, they tied them to trees, beheaded them, and burned their bodies in a pit. You won’t find that in the Geneva Convention. The Japanese fought a filthy war, but here we are less than 60 years later, and Britain and Japan sit side by side at G-7 meetings. If America is really “paying for” events that occurred seven centuries before the Republic’s founding, then that’s the Muslim world’s problem, not ours.

Remember all the Ramadan-a-ding-donging about how we should have postponed hostilities in Afghanistan out of respect for the Holy Month of Ramadan? Muslims around the world wouldn’t tolerate such an affront, even though Mohammed himself became a helicopter of fists against his enemies during Ramadan. My absolute favorite complaint from the “respect Muslim sensibilities” crowd was when the FBI came out with a new “Most Wanted List” immediately after 9/11 and we were told this was “counterproductive” because it singled out Arabs and Muslims. Reuters favorably quoted Hussein Amin, an Islamic intellectual and former Egyptian ambassador to Algeria, “Why pick on Arabs? Are there no South Americans, Irish, Serbs, Japanese among the most wanted?”
Goodness knows that when investigators were picking through the rubble at Ground Zero and the Pentagon, the American public joined their hands in hopeful prayer that this heinous crime had been perpetrated by radical factions of Up With People and the Birmingham Alabama Garden Club because none of us want to upset the delicate China dolls of the Arab world by suggesting that jihadists are more likely to murder innocents than outfits like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or Ducks Unlimited.
Yes, yes, the irony is rich that for all the bleating from the blame-America crowd about how this war or that invasion will ignite the “street” in the Muslim world it ended up being a ten-line item in the “Periscope” section of Newsweek. But that’s life.

Read the whole thing.