Respect The Box

I frequent an online forum that has a popular thread entitled “unique baby names.” You’d have to read it to believe it. Some people really are idiots. This may be the quote to end all quotes from the thread:

My daughter’s name is Lochlyn Blue. We too wanted something unique, but not too odd. I don’t imagine we’ll encounter many other Lochlyn’s throughout her life!

Unique, but not too odd? And you think “Lochlyn Blue” hit the mark? For the love of God, people! Think before you act. And if you act before you think, at least think before you open your mouth about it.

The latest argument against the President that’s currently in vogue is the idea that we didn’t do enough in Afganistan. That Iraq distracted from finishing the job in Afganistan. That because we changed our focus to Iraq so quickly, that the Taliban has been able to regain a foothold in Afganistan.
So tell me this. When was the last time a significant Al Queda operative was captured or killed in Afganistan?
Many people think that Osama is dead; those who think he’s still alive say he’s a lot of places, but not Afganistan. We bagged some of his cohorts in Pakistan, and bodybagged more than a few in Iraq. But we haven’t found any in Afganistan. Why is that? Perhaps because we satisfied our objective in Afganistan, and it is now only marginally important to the war on terror?
We went to Afganistan because it was a haven for terrorists and OSB. Now it no longer is. Sounds like Mission Accomplished to me.

Is that even possible? An Al Queda operative was in Iraq? But Iraq has nothing to do with the war on terror does it? Does it?
[Update: Best of the Web agrees]

Something that really bugs me are sanctimonious prigs who cover their cars with left-wing bumperstickers. I saw one today that pious asked, “Who would Jesus bomb?”
What a stupid friggin’ question. Why on earth would Jesus use a bomb when he could just wipe out every living creature on the planet (except, of course, anyone he thought was righteous enough) with a flood?
Morale of the story: Don’t get all self-righteous and start throwing around stupid cliches unless you really consider what you are saying.
And while I’m on the subject, you might do will to consider what the Islamofacists believe their Allah requires of them. In their view, the question “Who would Allah bomb?” is easily answered: everyone and anyone, as long as it’s in Allah’s name.
In light of enemy’s mindset in this regard, Jesus just might do well to start packing some heat, if he cares for his flock.

Crystal Morning: September 11, 2001

Ever notice that when you see an MSNBC.com headline like:
“Croc Hunter’s” death caught on tape | Video
The video link is never what you had hoped it would be? Or is that just me?

This is a pretty cool website that tells you how common your last name is. Type it in and the website will give you its rank in the top 55,000 surnames in the United States.
My wife claims that she guessed the top four in only four tries. How many guesses will it take you?
How common is your surname?

Sometimes, the contraints of headline writing, brevity being the most important, don’t allow for an adequate description of the story below. Take this one, for instance:
Pregnant woman crashes car, gives birth alone
Wow! That’s amazing, you say. That must be an amazing story, you think. But to really convey how amazing this story is, the headline should have been
Pregnant woman crashes car, gives birth alone in a partially submerged car, despite broken leg.
Now THAT’s a story!

British authorities said Thursday they thwarted a terrorist plot to simultaneously blow up 10 aircraft heading to the U.S. using explosives smuggled in hand luggage, averting what police described as “mass murder on an unimaginable scale.”

“Unimaginable”? Sadly, no. If 9/11 taught us anything, it’s that nothing is “unimaginable.”

This article about Maurice Clarett’s unbelievable new arrest provides (unwittingly, I think) an incredibly valuable insight into how Clarett became Clarett.
Let’s set the scene.
Clarett is arrested after an L.A.-style police pursuit (trailing helicopter and all!) on the highways and byways of benign Columbus. The police had to use a spike strip to get him to stop his car. When he finally did, he refused to leave his vehicle, he had to be forcibly removed and subdued with mace (the stun-gun didn’t work because of the protective vest Clarett was wearing).
That’s right – Clarett was wearing a bulletproof vest. He had a loaded 9mm under his legs on the driver’s seat. A loaded “AK-47 type assault rifle” was at his side on the passenger seat. Two other guns were found in a backpack on the passerger side floor.
That’s the backdrop. Here’s the insight:
Clarett was planning on playing football in an indoor football league for a team called the Mahoning Valley Hitmen. Oh my God, the irony is so rich I feel like I need angioplasty. But that’s not even the insightful part. Upon learning the news, here’s what his erstwhile coach said:

The arrest will not affect Clarett’s status with the team, Terry said.
“We gave him a chance and now we’ll wait to see what happens,” he said. “I’ve seen far worse situations than this.”

Wha-Wha-WHAT? He’s seen far worse situations? Like what, if I may be so bold? Clarett was wearing a bulletproof vest, sitting on a 9mm and had an assault rifle within reach. It’s not too ambitious a conjecture to suggest that quite possibly, the Columbus Police prevented a massacre of some sort.
That blase statement about Clarett’s arrest from his coach provides a telling insight into the mentality of the people that he grew up with, learned from, returned to. It is sad and pathetic. With that kind of thinking influencing his development, it is not suprising that, according to MSNBC’s Mike Celizic, he is one of sports’s greatest flameouts.
One last thing: You think the name of his erstwhile team is ironic? Check out its logo.